Miss Manners: I don’t want to be stuck at a party with women who don’t like me

DEAR MISS MANNERS How do you gently decline Christmas invitations from a friend when the people they invite are all couples and the women don t really like you We are all seniors Related Articles Miss Manners How do I set rules for my kids without offending the other parents Miss Manners She commandeers my kitchen to prepare the simplest potluck item Miss Manners Why would someone refuse a surprise vacation Now I can t get a refund Miss Manners My co-workers don t seem to realize what I do for a living Miss Manners I m uncomfortable about the strange men on the street GENTLE READER Why don t they like you Never mind that is none of Miss Manners business Nor need it be mentioned when you just express gratitude for the invitation and regret that you cannot accept DEAR MISS MANNERS Sometimes when I receive an invitation to an event the sender writes By Hand in the lower right-hand corner of the envelope Obviously this means that they delivered the invitation to my house themselves without using the postal operation Is this a true form of etiquette I cannot find a single reference to it in any etiquette book It seems a bit pretentious to me and I have invariably wondered if in fact it is really correct to use the term GENTLE READER Pretentious Miss Manners would think the opposite as it tells you that the sender made an extra effort And also perhaps that the sender does not trust the postal operation DEAR MISS MANNERS I have two friends I see frequently but they rarely see each other When we all get together inevitably one will start telling the other a story I have heard multiple times Then the other will tell her a story with which I am very familiar I ve tried staring vacantly off into space but it doesn t seem to be noticed How can I suggest we entirely talk about current events GENTLE READER Listening to the same story more than once is the price of friendship For that matter it is also the price of romance and the price of compassion in cases of dementia If you have never faked enjoying a familiar anecdote or joke Miss Manners worries that you are unwilling to make the smallest sacrifice for those you supposedly cherish She knows happy couples who even prompt each other to tell a relevant story to fresh listeners In this episode we are merely talking about one friend finding a new audience Surely you can indulge this in the hope that your friend will not gag when you seize a chance to tell your favorite story to a newcomer As for getting back to real conversation you have the advantage of knowing where the story is going That gives you the chance to cap it with a question such as Would that sort of thing happen nowadays Or Did you see what the Supreme Court did the last day DEAR MISS MANNERS How do you set the table when the salad is served at the same time as the rest of the meal Related Articles Dear Abby My daughter has all these rules about my grandson and it s so stressful for me Asking Eric I m banned from their house because of what I declared about the kids violent meeting Dear Abby Parents cute idea leaves mentor in stressful situation Asking Eric I posted one photo to tell people of my son s wedding and he made me delete it Harriette Cole I keep replaying what my friend revealed about my child I went to a friend s house and she put the salad fork to the left of the regular fork We used two forks during the meal one for salad and one for the rest of the food Was this correct or is a regular fork used for both the salad and the main class if served at the same time GENTLE READER Please do not encourage the libel that etiquette is a conspiracy to humiliate innocent people by providing confusing forks One fork to a class Miss Manners assures you Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO