Miss Manners: Don’t tell me to start eating. I know the rules.

DEAR MISS MANNERS I subscribe to the belief that at a sit-down meal it s correct to wait until all guests have received their food before you begin to eat Related Articles Miss Manners The older women made a list of things the bride is doing wrong Miss Manners I want to sit with the fun kids but not hurt my boring friend s feelings Miss Manners She s publicly blasting me because our charter bus left her behind Miss Manners Her peevish behavior in restaurants upsets me every time Miss Manners I don t want to tell people how we got our puppy However it seems like other folks never got this same lesson I frequently find that specific well-intentioned guest will look over notice me not eating and try to persuade me to go ahead and dig in without any regard for the other guests who don t yet have their food This really irks me I m well aware that yes I could in fact begin eating but I m intentionally choosing to wait out of consideration What s a polite way I can tell these types of people to butt out GENTLE READER A polite way would be to say Thank you I will in just a moment Miss Manners agrees with you that it is polite to wait for everyone to be served before starting presuming that it is not a table for and rude of the other guests to order you about But lest we are tempted to take a tone she reminds you that once others do start there is a danger in continuing to abstain It would be rude to draw attention to another person s lapse in etiquette by say ostentatiously continuing to wait for everyone else to be served However she persons of interest you would enjoy that DEAR MISS MANNERS My home has an open floor plan with the kitchen living room and dining area all combined This leads to guests meandering through the kitchen area while we re preparing food No approach I have used has been prosperous to deter this How do I approach my dear aunt at Thanksgiving who is a repeat offender She hovers over the food being prepared touches things and samples dishes before they are done This makes my husband unable to enjoy the food as he is concerned about sanitation GENTLE READER Thanksgiving being about expressing gratitude for what one has Miss Manners cannot help noticing that the purpose of an open floor plan is to encourage people to move about though maybe not to put their thumbs in the gravy She assumes that selling the house before Thanksgiving dinner is not an option Well-placed screens to cordon off kitchen entrances are worth considering as is assigning someone to keep your dear aunt busy either with charming conversation or by giving her an actual food-preparation assignment Related Articles Dear Abby My son s wedding stands to be very traumatic for me Asking Eric Because of the dispute about the dress I skipped the wedding Now the bride won t speak to me Harriette Cole Why am I being blamed for my friend s hurt feelings Miss Manners The older women made a list of things the bride is doing wrong Dear Abby I got an anonymous message about my new husband and I m so rattled DEAR MISS MANNERS These questions were posed at a dinner party I hosted Did you make this roast Did you make these potatoes I was a bit taken aback but maybe I should just get over it The meal was well received GENTLE READER You exposed the questions rude because you believe that no self-respecting host would serve guests precooked food Miss Manners thinks it more likely that your guests questioned as a prelude to complimenting you So the proper answer is I did followed by a quick reply such as Would you like particular more Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO