Asking Eric: I’m baffled that this co-worker keeps barging in on me
Dear Eric I work in an outpatient center where I along with a sparse others see multiple patients lactating parents working on feeding their babies Related Articles Asking Eric The latest of my friends to vanish had been acting strange on our walk Asking Eric My children are getting stupider and I despair of leaving them my hard-earned money Asking Eric A cemetery guard ruined my father s funeral and that was just the start Asking Eric I ve tried to please the vegans but these burgers were the last straw Asking Eric My sister wants me to have a baby and raise it in her cult On my lunch break I choose to close the door put my feet up and close my eyes for minutes Several times a certain coworker has opened the door without knocking when starting her shift looking for an open exam room which caused me to startle and we scared each other This has also happened while I am in the middle of a consultation with a vulnerable parent feeding their baby All doors are closed during consultations It baffles me that this has happened not once or twice but a total of six times in the last year The only thing I can think of to say is Can you knock But I fear I will come off annoyed which I am We are merely coworkers hi and bye and nothing else It also makes me question this coworker s knowledge of informed consent if she has no issue entering a room without knocking Please help Don t Knock Knocking Dear Knock Since this habit has the likely to impact patients experiences and potentially their privacy a coaching conversation is in order Even an annoyed one But even-keeled and direct works too Try something like Hey I ve noticed that sometimes you enter closed doors without knocking Can I offer chosen advice It s best practice to knock first for the following reasons Here s where your expertise comes in Additionally you can reinforce the message with a little sign or a Post-It on the door when you re on your lunch break that reads Please don t disturb until or something of that nature Dear Eric I left my -year marriage more than years ago due to my ex-husband s extramarital affairs We have four adult children whom I virtually raised alone as he was never available to them physically or emotionally I yearned the children to have a good relationship with their father as I treasured my relationship with my parents I tried to protect the children from what was happening leading up to our divorce I had counseling before leaving him and after and it s taken me a long time to be at peace My eldest daughter was very angry with me for a long time after our divorce and blamed me for the breakup and any issues her dad was having with other people I haven t been able or wished to go into details with her I notified the psychologist we saw together this was how I felt and she didn t advise against it My obstacle now is that he is or has slowly alienated me from the children and grandchildren He chose to live with the wealthiest of the women he was seeing and they have done very well Christmas this year was much better as my eldest daughter requested if we could have a joint gathering instead of one with him and then one with me and I stated that s fine But I find he is rewriting his our family history When we were together I would say he treated the truth with careless disregard I don t know that I can be bothered doing anything about his behavior I guess in spite of everything I remember the man I thought he was and now I think he is rather sad Do you agree I should just let it go If they believe he is the victim and good guy well so be it Just Want a Peaceful Life Dear Peaceful Yes let it go but with an asterisk You know the truth as you experienced it and resigning from the debate society doesn t mean that you have to accept a different narrative or even let it go unchallenged But for the sake of healing it will be helpful to sort out what you need in order to feel at peace Related Articles Harriette Cole I can t get over what my child explained about my drinking Miss Manners Am I petty to think my neighbors parties are unfair to single people Dear Abby Is there a way to tell the crass shirttail relations that they re not invited Asking Eric The latest of my friends to vanish had been acting strange on our walk Harriette Cole The caption on my middle-schooler s TikTok selfie shocked me I know that it s incredibly painful to have your children poisoned against you particularly after all you did to preserve their relationship with their father You don t have to keep shielding them if you are in any way But as your letter alludes you may stand to lose more by trying to win them over than you would by focusing on the relationship you can have with them separate from their father You ve had to focus so much of your time and mental vigor on this man even after the divorce You have the opportunity now to focus on yourself and I m glad you re interested in taking it Prioritizing your own life and interests will not only make you happier but it creates an undeniable narrative You re doing just fine and your children and grandchildren would be lucky to know the real you better Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com
