Miss Manners: They mistake me for this other person, then act like I’m trying to trick them

DEAR MISS MANNERS I participate in an organization with quite a inadequate members Apparently I resemble one of the leaders of the organization I am frequently mistaken for this person although I don t think we really look alike Related Articles Miss Manners I got stuck with a huge wine bill for somebody else s dinner Miss Manners My daughter s plan for a new tradition would upend our Thanksgiving routine Miss Manners There s nothing under his robe Am I a prude because I keep my distance Miss Manners This is a real letter about staying in a house without a toilet Miss Manners Should we invite them both and brace for drama Usually people apologize when they address me by the other person s name but occasionally people seem put out as if I were trying to trick them or act as an impersonator What is the polite way to tell people I am not the other person without raising their hackles Sometimes I almost feel like they expect me to apologize GENTLE READER Your final exclamation suggests that you doubt your own assessment that anyone could be so irrational as to blame you for their mistake But Miss Manners assures you it is truly a common which is not to say acceptable reaction in such situations The correct way to react to being mistaken for someone else will depend on the other person s behavior It is an embarrassing situation for them so if they make a genuine apology help them out by accepting the apology promptly and changing the subject With anyone rude enough to display resentment you may smile when you deny being the other person This is not rude you are merely declining to help them out of the hole they have dug and apparently wish to continue excavating DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband and I are disagreeing on what a proper RSVP is I sent out digital invitations for my son s birthday party and requested people RSVP to me A great number of of his family members liked the digital invitation but did not specifically respond as to whether or not they were attending I described my husband that no one from his family had responded but he thinks the fact that they liked the invitation is their RSVP I don t agree with this especially since there are families being invited with children who do not have their own phones to like the invitation Even if this counts as their response how do I know whether to expect one person or their entire five-person family GENTLE READER When they first appeared Miss Manners was assured that electronic invitations would be such an improvement over the old handwritten form because everyone would respond speedily and it would save everyone all the time and tediousness of something She had stopped listening by then Related Articles Asking Eric I d rather not see bushy nose hair at my holiday table Harriette Cole I sometimes give this guy money so shouldn t he listen when I need to talk Miss Manners I got stuck with a huge wine bill for somebody else s dinner Dear Abby Should I tell the parents what their teen is doing Asking Eric My sister plans to visit at Christmas and already I m anxious Instead the same people who had responded to handwritten invitations responded to electronic ones and the same people who failed to respond to one also failed to respond to the other And the people who did respond could still be endlessly nagged because somehow the computer didn t record their response and everyone could be dunned for presents or photos or just cash So you can imagine her reaction at learning that there is now a way to respond that is unintelligible to the hostess Does this thing have a Very Much Dislike button Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO