Miss Manners: My fiance’s family is upset about the wedding gift situation
DEAR MISS MANNERS A great number of of my soon-to-be in-laws are upset that we don t have a wedding registry and also that they don t have my phone number to complain Related Articles Miss Manners Is it gauche to give visitors a grand tour of my house Miss Manners She keeps saying we need to go out and get crazy I absolutely do not want to Miss Manners Can I weigh in on a woman s clownish makeup Miss Manners I let my child pick her party guests and she picked wrong Miss Manners I yelled at the people on the bus It did not feel great Nobody bothers my fiance but his mother Noreen is getting a lot of calls from the extended family I ve given my blessing for her to share the truth We are putting together photo walls in the front hallway of our home and will happily include anyone who sends us pictures Even this highly personal gift idea isn t cutting it and Noreen is getting frazzled as the date draws nigh Directing relatives to my fiance s phone number isn t working I m tempted to make a registry that is all socks to be donated to a charity but that would likely just make things worse for Noreen Please talk me down GENTLE READER Presumably you know that Miss Manners has long been railing exhaustively and ineffectually against the custom of giving one s shopping list to guests Nevertheless when she calms down she realizes that there really are people who would like to please celebrants and yet don t know them well enough to know how To make that palatable it should be done indirectly and in general terms What your fiance s mother demands is such an answer to the relatives They love kitchen gadgets Their house is in tones of blue and gray or They voyage a lot DEAR MISS MANNERS What is your opinion on handkerchiefs I prefer them to tissues I have seen brides at weddings that cost thousands of dollars crying into wadded-up tissues If they really find it so disgusting to reuse a soiled handkerchief they could invest a scant dollars in a multi-pack and get a fresh one each time Also I believe that it is better for the circumstances GENTLE READER Why would anyone prefer a flimsy piece of paper to an all-purpose little cloth for mopping up life s frequent spills including those from noses Miss Manners persons of interest it is the fussy name and the embellishments such as embroidery floral motifs and monograms that condemn handkerchiefs as frivolous So yes she loves them Remind her to give large lacy ones to prospective brides who are known to be emotional DEAR MISS MANNERS Two teachers at the school where I teach had babies The school had separate baby showers for each of them and I gave a gift at each shower Neither one has offered any thanks to any of us for the gifts they received I m rather surprised Is this the norm these days Related Articles Dear Abby My -year-old wants to go live in another state Asking Eric My sister-in-law called me a bully and refuses to enter my home What should I do Harriette Cole My friend is so secretive about her life that it hurts my feelings Miss Manners Is it gauche to give visitors a grand tour of my house Dear Abby My boyfriend embarrassed me by demanding I apologize to the shopper GENTLE READER As you are a instructor you likely subscribe to the idea that normal behavior which is to say that behavior in which numerous people indulge could stand improvement That ingratitude is common does not make it acceptable Nor is being busy an excuse you would accept from students who didn t turn in their assignments But Miss Manners presumes that you are also familiar with failure to complete a task Are you sure that each of the packages included a securely fastened card identifying the donor Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO
