Miss Manners: Beyond a weak smile, is there a way to discourage his ‘witticism’ at my expense?

DEAR MISS MANNERS About a year ago I met the man of my dreams and he and I are planning a future together Related Articles Miss Manners My boyfriend berated me in the parking lot over how I exited the church Miss Manners I gave my neighbor treats and got a rude phone call in return Miss Manners She threatened to call the cops on me in church Miss Manners Is there a polite way to satisfy my curiosity about the waitress Miss Manners Would it be crass to give a young widow money rather than flowers I have a wonderful group of friends we are all in our s and s and get together often for fun exercises and I feel so fortunate that he and my friends adore each other We have enjoyed plenty of fun times with the group We joined three other couples for a potluck dinner and contest night which included a trivia competition with categories arranged by generations My partner is about a decade younger than I am a fact that majority were already aware of but apparently one gentleman was not As this came to light in the syllabus of the battle he made a reference to me as a cougar To be honest it took me a while to reconcile the age difference in my relationship and I am a tad sensitive about it so the remark did not land well for me I managed a weak smile that hopefully did not show my irritation but I d prefer to never hear this term lobbed in my direction again This gentleman tends to repeat himself when he feels he s discovered a witticism so it s likely it will happen He generally means well so I don t wish to embarrass him but is there a way to graciously shut this down if I hear it again GENTLE READER While it is kind of you not to want to embarrass him he is not showing you the same respect Miss Manners therefore suggests that you turn that weak smile into something that does in fact betray your irritation perhaps with a murmured Not funny Anything less seems only to encourage him DEAR MISS MANNERS I am wondering about the best way to answer odd questions such as Do you know about Harlem or Did you ever hear of The New Yorker magazine or How much do you know about the arrondissements in Paris I find these questions condescending but maybe I am too sensitive Am I required to give an answer or may I just laugh and ask the person to continue the conversation Related Articles Asking Eric I was informed I overreacted about this property damage Harriette Cole Is it time to file a complaint about the neighbors or will that make it worse Miss Manners My boyfriend berated me in the parking lot over how I exited the church Dear Abby I want to make things right My children want nothing to do with me Asking Eric How do we stop their hit-and-run gift giving The answers to the above questions are Yes I know about the history of Harlem and even the Harlem Renaissance Yes I have heard of The New Yorker and have had a subscription for a number of years I know a good deal about the Paris arrondissements I studied French in high school and I am an avid reader of French novels GENTLE READER I do know something about those subjects To what specifically are you referring Not only is this more polite Miss Manners assures you but if you are truly an expert in any given field waiting it out will also afford you a greater opportunity to top them later I truly wrote my thesis on Baron Haussmann Of class you know that he was instrumental in creating the arrondissements And then just watch their faces Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO