Harriette Cole: She walked out of the party, saying my new girlfriend and I embarrassed her
DEAR HARRIETTE My ex and I dated for about three years while we were in college When we broke up we maintained our friendship and shared multiple things like our friend group Related Articles Harriette Cole When I complain about the hazing at work they say my generation is soft Harriette Cole My roommate s annoying Post-its are affecting my peace of mind Harriette Cole This advice from my therapist seems drastic Should I go for it anyway Harriette Cole Is it unrealistic to date a man who lives more than an hour away Harriette Cole It was funny when we googled my new boyfriend and then it wasn t Fast-forward to the present day five years post-college and we are still in the same friend circle but it has become an issue I of late started dating someone who went to our college While she knows my ex they are not really friends and have never been close Even though I thought it was OK to date this person I was not upfront with my ex and she identified out while we were all at a birthday celebration She was shocked to say the least and left abruptly claiming that my new girlfriend and I embarrassed her and should have given her a heads-up I feel like I m still trapped in a relationship that I haven t been in for years Do I really owe my ex an explanation on who s new in my love life How do I set boundaries without bruising the integrity of our friendship New Flame DEAR NEW FLAME Something inside of you described you that this might be an awkward situation that s why you didn t tell your ex about your new love interest in the first place Since you decided to stay in communication with your ex for all these years it would have been kind to let her know that you are dating someone she knows You should apologize to her Speak to her privately and let her know that you had no intention of upsetting or unsettling her You realize it would have been thoughtful for you to tell her about your new girlfriend but it is crucial to you that you have the freedom to be with whoever you want as it should be for her as well DEAR HARRIETTE I am experiencing a financial rough patch I ve been working as a freelancer and doing chosen odd jobs on the side to secure income In recent weeks while at a friends-and-family gathering I received an email asking if I would be available to come in and work an event that night I agreed I would have to leave the gathering a bit early but I d been there for three hours at that point When I reported that I had to leave earlier than expected my sister spent the rest of the evening complaining Why was I leaving Why did I even want to work that job Why was I ditching her Related Articles Miss Manners Should the boss go to the wedding despite this rudeness Dear Abby I m mortified that I walked into the room as this man was dying Asking Eric She s upset that we don t want her boyfriend in our guest room Dear Abby They seem to think I should be happy with a potato Asking Eric Should I tell what I heard about why my nephew didn t get the job It was frustrating It is not my preference to miss out on family moments but it was what I needed to do at the time Having to carry the weight of someone else s selfish necessities makes everything harder How can I manage my family s expectations better Putting Me First DEAR PUTTING ME FIRST Ask your sister to back off Remind her that you love her and that the family and you show up whenever you can When work calls especially during this time of financial uncertainty you must answer You hope she can understand that Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO
