Harriette Cole: My mom and I are offended by the birthday party snub

DEAR HARRIETTE My friend is celebrating her son s first birthday soon Related Articles Harriette Cole I feel like she s using me as a prop for her online persona Harriette Cole They have no time for my unlikable aunt Harriette Cole I need to honor my feelings about the broken vase Harriette Cole My dog bit someone s baby and I m worried about what will happen now Harriette Cole Is there a way to compromise on having a baby We are all excited to be there for him but it seems like my friend left a limited people off of her guest list my mom being one of those people We have been best friends since we were Our parents are close and my mom is inevitably there to backing her for special occasions graduations birthdays her wedding etc This time it seems like my mom didn t even cross her mind My mom and I were offended It feels inconsiderate Should I say something or focus on the birthday boy despite my mom s feelings Family Friends DEAR FAMILY FRIENDS You should definitely speak to your friend Assume that it was an oversight Tell her that you noticed that your mom was not invited to the party Ask if this was intentional If she says yes ask her why Find out what reason she could possibly have for not including your mother given her involvement in your friend s life Tell her your mother s feelings are hurt and ask her to reconsider Is it practicable that your friend just assumed you would bring your mom Chances are it was an honest mistake and she will directly extend an invitation to your mom If so suggest that she take another look at her whole list to make sure she didn t exclude anyone else by mistake DEAR HARRIETTE About a year ago I left college I didn t complete my four-year project so I didn t earn a degree Since I ve been back home with my mom my two older sisters both at least years older keep asking questions about why I dropped out and what I plan to do next and it s so frustrating I am trying to figure out what is best for me right now but I can barely think clearly because my sisters are unfailingly badgering me with their own ideas I know I ve been a bit slow to act but I just wish they would back off How can I get them to realize I m an adult now Figuring It Out DEAR FIGURING IT OUT Your sisters sound like they mean well even as they are suffocating you They want to make sure that you succeed Since you didn t finish school and haven t figured out a way forward they are worried about you They also do not want you to become a burden on your mother since you are back at home living with her Ask them to stop badgering you You need space to plot out your life Related Articles Dear Abby The secret about my husband has turned my world upside down Asking Eric How can I spend my new money and still keep it a secret from my friends Harriette Cole I feel like she s using me as a prop for her online persona Miss Manners I was explained I was rude for putting the hostess in this position Dear Abby I had surgery and my husband wouldn t stay home with me Give yourself a schedule so that you are disciplined about your next approaches In the short term what type of job can you get to help pay the bills and make yourself independent In the longer term what fields of work interest you What were you studying in school What types of jobs have you had in the past What sparks your interest Pay attention so that you can figure out which direction is of interest to you If you are open to it you could ask them to brainstorm with you occasionally They know you so they should have a sense of what you are good at Rather than grilling you maybe they could work together with you to dream up ideas for your future and possibly come up with something worth following up on Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO