Harriette Cole: I’m in my 30s, and that’s too old to date a man who acts like this

DEAR HARRIETTE My boyfriend really upset me in recent times We made plans to go out to a restaurant that I ve been looking forward to for weeks it was special to me and he knew how excited I was Related Articles Harriette Cole A car crash wrecked my daughters relationship Harriette Cole I realized the credit card thief was my own son Harriette Cole I keep replaying what my friend noted about my child Harriette Cole Everyone at the dog park laughs when I m disrespected by another owner Harriette Cole I was taken aback when she declared she s surprised I m still married The day before our reservation he canceled because he forgot he had plans with a friend to go to selected EDM event Not only did he cancel at the last minute but he didn t make any effort to reschedule or acknowledge how disappointing that was Now it s been four days with no communication at all and I m sitting here feeling like an afterthought I m a woman in my s and I m too old to date a man who acts like he barely likes me or can t prioritize our relationship I don t want to waste my time on someone who doesn t show up emotionally or follow through If he does reach out I m torn Should I ghost him and protect my peace Should I have a real conversation about how his behavior made me feel and see if there s any hope in fixing things Or should I be clear that I m no longer interested and walk away for good I m struggling to figure out what the healthiest option is for me Is He Worth It DEAR IS HE WORTH IT Be the adult here and make the effort to nip it in the bud Reach out and tell him you need to talk When you speak preferably in person tell him how disappointed you are in how he treated you Go for the big picture Ask him what he wants from your relationship Tell him what you want If he is unwilling or unable to step up that s your cue to walk DEAR HARRIETTE I tend to speak my mind I blurt out whatever I m thinking It gets worse when I am tired The other day I hung out late with friends and had to work the next day A co-worker did something stupid and I snapped at her I had no patience for her though often I do I think I hurt her feelings even though what she did was ignorant Should I apologize to her What can I do to keep things to myself more Bite My Tongue DEAR BITE MY TONGUE You should pull your co-worker aside and apologize for being harsh Explain that you were on a short fuse that day and didn t mean to snap at her It doesn t matter whether she was wrong it will be kind for you to acknowledge your short temper Related Articles Dear Abby I m worried about my friend s sudden interest in men Asking Eric I didn t know why my friends ditched me and then I remembered Paulo Harriette Cole A car crash wrecked my daughters relationship Miss Manners Can I wear this at my wedding without upsetting my new husband Dear Abby My ex-wife is our housemate and my girlfriend isn t happy about it In general you already know that you need to get ample rest Selected people function well for a while even when they are tired You are not one of those people Take care of yourself to ensure that you do not cause backlash because of your lack of control Other things you can do in the moment include taking a deep breath before you speak and considering if this is the best thing for you to say right now I learned something from the poet Rumi called The Four Gateways of Speech that might help you Before speaking ask yourself Is it true Is it necessary Is it timely Is it kind Don t speak unless the answer to each of those questions is yes Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO