Harriette Cole: All everyone talks about is the people who crashed my wedding

DEAR HARRIETTE I got married in the last few days and while the day was beautiful overall a meager unexpected guests presented up actual wedding crashers Related Articles Harriette Cole After I moved in with my fiance he became very strict with me Harriette Cole I sometimes give this guy money so shouldn t he listen when I need to talk Harriette Cole My husband s casual comment about my job is weighing on me Harriette Cole He mentioned he felt sorry for my future kids and I was so hurt Harriette Cole I paid her to cat-sit and came home to a calamity At first I thought maybe they were distant friends of my husband s but it became obvious they didn t know anyone They ate drank and even joined us on the dance floor like they belonged there By the time we realized what was happening they had already helped themselves to food drinks and favors meant for our guests I m still upset thinking about how they took advantage of such a special day Part of me feels silly for caring since the wedding was otherwise amazing but another part of me feels disrespected How do I let go of the frustration and focus on the positive without feeling like I let something so tacky slide It s become the story everyone keeps bringing up when they talk about my wedding and I hate that it s overshadowing the good memories Should I just laugh it off or is it OK that I m still bothered by it I want to move on but I can t help replaying the moment and wondering how people could be so inconsiderate Crashers DEAR CRASHERS Every wedding has its idiosyncrasies Yours had wedding crashers Embrace the novelty of it Your wedding was so hot that others needed to join the fun DEAR HARRIETTE My boyfriend lately moved in with me and ever since then my cat s behavior has wholly changed She s been acting out scratching furniture hiding for hours and even refusing to eat sometimes She used to be calm and affectionate but now she seems anxious and territorial My partner is trying to be person but I can tell he s getting frustrated especially since the cat hisses at him whenever he walks by or tries to sit near me It s creating tension between us and I feel stuck in the middle trying to keep everyone happy I ve tried introducing them slowly giving the cat space and even buying new toys to distract her but nothing seems to help My boyfriend thinks I m overreacting and that the cat will get over it but I know she s genuinely stressed I feel guilty because I was so excited for us to certainly live together and now it feels like we re both walking on eggshells around my pet I love them both but I m starting to wonder if this living situation is sustainable How can I help my cat adjust to this big change without it putting more strain on my relationship Standoff Related Articles Dear Abby She explained me her secret and it might end our friendship Asking Eric Should I try to be friends with my ex-wife I think she s lonely Harriette Cole After I moved in with my fiance he became very strict with me Miss Manners They mistake me for this other person then act like I m trying to trick them Dear Abby My husband doesn t know why I can t stand his sister DEAR STANDOFF Experts say it sometimes takes time for cats and lovers to become friends My research suggests that you must rebuild a relationship with each of them so that jealousy reduces to a minimum and both of them know how much you love them Catster com advises having separate one-on-one time with your cat and your boyfriend closing the door when you want alone time with your guy and setting aside time for the two of them to bond without you around If your cat is motivated by food you might have your boyfriend start feeding her so she has that positive association You can also try calling in a pet trainer for more personalized help Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO