Dear Abby: I want to dance and hike. He wants to get drunk in the garage.

DEAR ABBY I live with a man I admire very much Related Articles Dear Abby I m perpetually in the other grandparents shadow Dear Abby My husband died months ago How do I let other men know I m ready Dear Abby Our son s girlfriend saw my wife s text and now she won t speak to us Dear Abby After the gaslighting he wants me to trust him again Dear Abby Should I include a warning for the surprise party s guests We bought our first home when we were We had two children together and also raised my sister We both work and want for nothing The challenge He s an alcoholic He never gets loud or mean he just quietly goes to sleep From the outside he looks like the greatest guy But Abby I am so lonely that I cry sometimes He s asleep by or p m on the weekends We hardly ever go out We are both all the kids have moved out and we should be having fun I want to excursion dance and hike He s happy getting drunk in the garage Help LONESOME OUT WEST DEAR LONESOME Have you talked with him to see which issues have driven him to live this way Nowhere in your letter did you indicate that you are indeed married to this man Life isn t a dress rehearsal and you have paid your dues If your dream is to dance and hike get out there and do it Because you want to journey arrange to do it with friends Because Rip Van Winkle is passed out it won t be like you re neglecting him and he won t miss you And since you didn t indicate that you re planning to end your relationship consider attending Al-Anon meetings so you can find help and the strength to begin living your life the way you want which is what he has been doing DEAR ABBY I in recent times reconnected with a woman I dated briefly in the s and hadn t seen since She s around my age We both were married one year apart had daughters one year apart and got divorced after -year marriages She spotted me on a social media site and suggested I call her to catch up on things which I did This led to an invitation to meet for a bite to eat and more talk which I gladly accepted We live two hours apart and I drove to her home to meet her We had a great day and evening and as I was leaving I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek whereupon she planted one on me I wasn t expecting it but it was awesome I felt like a schoolkid with a crush I had forgotten that feelings like this were even accomplishable We have spent every weekend together since that meeting last month I have a special place in my heart for her even from so long ago My complication I declared the L-word way too soon I needed to rectify my misstep and explained it was intended to represent caring and affection as opposed to being romantically in love with her which for me is an ongoing more protracted process the bulk of the time I notified her I have no expectation of her reciprocating and I just yearned her to know that I care for her and invariably have I know particular women and maybe men shudder at hearing these words too soon in a relationship she may be one of them Anything else I can do to lessen her trepidation as we progress Is there any recommended time frame for appropriately professing one s romantic love FORMER EX IN TEXAS Related Articles Asking Eric My wife left her jewelry to a niece who doesn t deserve it What should I do Harriette Cole I got up the nerve to ask my crush out It did not go well Miss Manners How can I keep my outings a secret from the neighbors Dear Abby I m consistently in the other grandparents shadow Asking Eric We were left in the corner amid the hoopla for our son s wife DEAR FORMER EX I wish you had mentioned how this woman reacted when the word love escaped your lips Did she smile Cringe Remain silent There is no timetable for expressing love The time to use the word is when one feels it Sometimes the feeling lasts sometimes it doesn t From now on take your cues from her If what you explained made her uncomfortable you would already know Let your relationship progress at its own rate and resist the urge to force it Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA